FSOTD: "Face Down" by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

I started singing again.

This might seem like a simple thing to some, but it's actually kind of a big deal for me.  I cannot function without music, and when I sing (at home, in the car, sometimes even at school), I let it all out.  Don't care who hears me or sees me, I crank the volume up all the way and sing to my heart's content.  But it's been two months since I've really allowed myself to enjoy music, and more importantly, to enjoy singing.  Instead, I've listened passively to whatever is playing, letting the music, words, memories and emotions wash over me (more like crash, actually).

This morning in the car, though, I set my playlist to random, and this song came on.  So. Many. Memories.  This is the official KJ&R Theme Song.  Junior year at BYU, J&R and I lived together at The Cove, where I soon discovered they were the two halves of my one personality.  Don't ask me how or why, but we stumbled across this song and became obsessed with it.  So random, especially given the subject matter (domestic violence), but we listened to it non-stop, often having singing/screaming matches in the car to see who could sing the loudest.  The rhythm of the lyrics always gave us a bit of trouble, but we loved belting out this song together.

When it started playing in the car this morning, I felt a smile form on my lips.  My eyes widened and my tongue kind of danced behind my teeth in anticipation of the first words.  So I turned the volume up as high as I could stand it and tapped out the beginning drum beats on the steering wheel.  My air guitar needs some work, but then....

I started singing.  And not just ho-hum singing.  This was full-out, scream-until-you're-blue-in-the-face singing.  By the end I was out of breath, but I also felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.  It was awesome.  It was also a step on the journey to putting myself back together.

Listen and love.



Hey girl, you know you drive me crazy

One look puts the rhythm in my hand
Still I'll never understand why you hang around
I see what's going down

Cover up with makeup in the mirror
Tell yourself it's never gonna happen again

You cry alone and then he swears he loves you

Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found

A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
Every action in this world will bear a consequence
If you wade around forever you will surely drown
I see what's going down

I see the way you go and say you're right again

Say you're right again
Heed my lecture

Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found

Face down in the dirt, she said, "This doesn't hurt"

She said, "I finally had enough"

One day she will tell you that she has had enough
He's coming round again

Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found

Face down in the dirt, she said, "This doesn't hurt"

She said, "I finally had enough"