this is no fun

i apologize in advance for this post.  i promised myself that i would never be one those people who, as soon as they are given a wonderful blessing or opportunity or experience, all they do is complain, complain, complain.  those people have always bugged me, and i never thought i would become one.  so like i said, i apologize.

life is no fun right now.

planning a wedding is no fun.
whoever said planning a wedding is the greatest thing ever was clearly lying through their teeth.  way too many details and decisions and deposits to make.  if i didn't think i would regret not having friends and family there, i would elope to the temple in a heartbeat, just me and him.  because, for real. this wedding planning stuff kind of sucks.

being engaged is no fun.
here we are, trying to combine our two lives into one, and yet we still have these very separate and different lives.  we see each other maybe an hour on the weekdays. (or, like tonight, i see him for 5 min, he falls asleep on the ground for an hour and a half, and then he goes home.)  and we are both so tired on the weekends, as well as super busy doing our own little things we don't get a chance to do during the week.  and even when we are together, there's always talk about wedding details, engagement pictures, moving into our new house, finances and bills... you know, the really romantic stuff.  so i'm not really enjoying this whole engaged thing.  the ring is awesome, but the reality of it is kind of lame.

teaching school is no fun.
i love being a teacher.  but, oh my staars, right now i am kind of loathing it.  my crazy schedule (6 different classes) is taking me to my breaking point and i fear i might snap any day now.  or collapse in a sobbing heap.  or scream at the top of my lungs.  one is just as likely as the other.  because teaching right now is no bueno.

being healthy is no fun.
and by no fun, i mean it's not going very well.  i survived my 45-day paleo challenge, felt awesome, excited to keep it going... and then all of the above happened.  a combination of school, wedding to-do's and engagement woes sent me over the edge.  in the past month, i've made it to the box a handful of times, thanks to my inability to get up in the morning and the fact that i don't get home until 6 or 7 each night.  and the worst part is i know exactly how eating healthy and consistent exercise makes me feel (amazing and happy to be alive), but i have been stuck in this rut for too long now and i'm finding it harder and harder to get myself out.  and i know what the coaches would say ("pick up the bar!"), so i suppose i should stop making excuses and just git 'er done.

and... scene! that's all i needed.  room to rant and rave for a bit.  and now i'm done.  goodnight.