Words of Comfort

Maybe it's the English teacher in me, but I've always believed very strongly in the power of words.  Being with Z, though, made me realize even more the importance of words - written, texted, spoken or otherwise.  In the past few weeks, I've received so many kind words from friends (both old and new), and have been comforted and inspired by words from books, songs and poems.  I find myself carrying certain notes and cards in my purse, reading them over and over.  I open the same emails again and again, memorizing phrases to repeat to myself when I'm finding it particularly hard to breathe.

Actions may speak louder than words, but I don't need loud right now.  I need quiet, calm, soft.  I need words, words and more words.

From friends, both old and new:

"I know you can make it - and I know you're strong enough, too."

"While at work, we had a patient pass away rather suddenly and every time this happens, I always think of family members on the other side greeting this person. No one ever dies alone and it just makes me so grateful for the gospel and the plan of salvation."

"I hope you draw comfort that Z drew happiness from having you in his life.  That someday you will see Z again healed, whole and blessed."

"Once in the midst of a particularly difficult time I was reminded of the scripture that describes the Savior as 'a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.' It helped me to understand that He is whole and strong even with grief and sorrow as an integral part of His character... I have a feeling that when you find your voice again, it will have memories of your friend Z in it."

"I'm so sorry that you lost Z.  You must have been an Angel for him."

"You will get through these bumpy, fragile days and weeks and emerge all the stronger, humbler, more compassionate, more understanding... and better for it all. Small comfort now I know, but this is a journey not to be taken lightly or ever forgotten. Your ability to slow down, reflect and analyze will be a huge blessing to you I think - not to mention others you know and love today and will meet along the way."

"You can do today."

"...just remember that grief is not linear, nor should you expect it to be... Allow yourself to grieve on the days that you do and don't worry that it seems like one day you're fine and the next you're not. Different events, milestones in your life, etc., will cause you to feel differently at various times in your life, so it only stands to reason that it won't just keep getting better. You will begin to function normally again, but it will likely take a while... You will have a perspective that many do not, and while that may not be what you want to hear right now, it will be a great blessing in the long run."

"You are loved and you are prayed for and you are not forgotten and you are not alone. You can do this hard, hard thing. You are doing it."

Sunday Will Come, Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin:
"Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays.

But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come.  No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. In this life or the next, Sunday will come.

We will all rise from the grave... Because of the life and eternal sacrifice of the Savior of the world, we will be reunited with those we have cherished.  Because of our beloved Redeemer, we can lift up our voices, even in the midst of our darkest Fridays, and proclaim, 'O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?'

When President Hinckley spoke of the terrible loneliness that comes to those who lose the ones they love, he also promised that in the quiet of the night a still, unheard voice whispers peace to our soul: 'All is well.'"

Charles Dickens:
"We should never be ashamed of our tears."

How Firm a Foundation, Hymn no. 85, verse 5:
When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.

Hope, Less Than Three:
Don’t carry the whole world on your shoulders; it’s not your burden to behold
Boy, don’t go playing the hero; you can’t always be in control
And if the world should come crashing down on your troubled head
Lay your troubles to rest and wait for tomorrow for a chance to start it all over again

Poem 193, Emily Dickinson:

I SHALL know why, when time is over,
And I have ceased to wonder why ;
Christ will explain each separate anguish
In the fair schoolroom of the sky.

He will tell me what Peter promised,
And I, for wonder at his woe,
I shall forget the drop of anguish
That scalds me now, that scalds me now.

i carry your heart with me, e.e. cummings:

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)