"what were you doing? i could hear you all the way down the hall."
"i was doing just the opposite of laughing."
"what? but why?"
"oh, you know..."
some days i wonder why i even bother putting on makeup. today was one of those days.
the waves of overwhelming sadness and pain still come and go. this morning they came, fast and strong, and then passed almost as quickly, leaving me with a headache and without mascara. the physical and emotional force of missing him never fails to surprise and, if i'm being honest, scare me.
it still hurts. i'm still sad. but i'm also still trying to find the happy. better luck tomorrow, i hope.