Thursday, July 23

Make it stop...

For the past week, I have been having the most vivid, detailed, and at times disturbing, dreams. And they always seem to occur in the hours when my alarm first goes off and I hit the snooze button, only to fall back asleep. And because these dreams are so vivid, detailed, and at times disturbing, I can't seem to get myself out of bed. It's almost as if I am paralyzed by my confusion, trying to figure out why in the world I am dreaming the particular dreams I am dreaming. Just a sample of my morning madness:
  • I'm spending an evening talking and laughing with a platonic guy friend and the infatuation who doesn't even know I'm alive... transition into a parking garage and I can't find either of them because there are so many cars and people surrounding me, causing me to become very upset, desperate and frantic.
  • I have gotten back together with my high school "boyfriend" (he turned out to be a real winner), and we are acting all couple-y at the movies, but then an individual who I will call Mr. Awkward comes and sits next to me and then puts his hand across my lap and won't let me get up. I start screaming because I can't move but no one pays any attention to me.
  • It's my wedding day... and I am wearing a hideous white flowered monstrosity with a red satin belt, and the groom's name is Nathan. Friends and family are all standing around outside the temple (?). Our reception is held at Wal-Mart, right in the middle of the cosmetics and face wash aisles.
  • I've just returned to my high school in Ohio and no one remembers me. I walk up and down the halls, reminiscing about my time there. I'm outside in the parking lot where a group of stupid boys are basically playing Slip-n-Slide on the frozen concrete. I yell at them. An old friend, Mike, finally recognizes me.
Can you see, now, why I can't get out of bed in the morning? I'm almost scared to go to sleep at night because I don't know what I'm going to see once I close my eyes. I don't know what any of it means, and frankly I don't really care at this point. I just want it to stop.

No comments:

Post a Comment