General Petraeus' Top 10 reasons BYU grads make good soldiers:
10 — They have already been on many a mission.
9 — Army chow is no problem for folks accustomed to eating green Jell-o and shredded carrots.
8 — It's not a problem if they don't know what rank someone is, they just refer to them as Brother or Sister so-and-so.
7 — They never go AWOL. They just call it being less active.
6 — They will seize any objective swiftly if you tell them refreshments will be served.
5 — They know how to make things happen. In fact if you ever need a base built quickly in a barren wasteland, stride out to where you want them to start, plant your walking stick down and say in a loud voice, "This is the place."
4 — They have innovative ideas for handling insurgents — like assigning them home teachers.
3 — They always have a years' supply of provisions on hand.
2 — They are the world's most reliable designated drivers.
1 — They understand how far Iraq has come over the last seven years, and they think that Iraq's old spot in the "Axis of Evil" can now be filled by the University of Utah.